“Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)”

“When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.”

“A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.”

“Chuck Norris can’t finish a “color by numbers” because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.”

“When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.”

“There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.”

“Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.”

“Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.”

“When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.”

“Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.”