“Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.”

“Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.”

“Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost”

“Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.”

“Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.”

“Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.”

“When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.”

“Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.”

“Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.”

“Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.”